


If We Could Try Again

by spacenoodle



Category: The Umbrella Academy (Comics), The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Ben Hargreeves is Alive, Diego Hargreeves Needs A Hug, Domestic Fluff, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Good Sister Allison Hargreeves, Good Sister Vanya Hargreeves, Klaus Hargreeves Needs Help, Luther Hargreeves Has a Human Body, M/M, Protective Allison Hargreeves, Reginald Hargreeves' A+ Parenting, Some Plot, Stuttering Diego Hargreeves, Vanya Hargreeves Deserves Better
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-23
Updated: 2019-08-29
Packaged: 2020-09-24 23:08:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,293
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20366632
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spacenoodle/pseuds/spacenoodle
Summary: The Hargreeves siblings have been hurtled into the past and are still reeling from the apocalypse. So, what do they do about it? They take a day off and go to a local carnival.





	1. Basement Talks

“Why don’t we go do something that normal kids do?” Klaus groaned into a heap of Five’s meticulous notes. “It’s not like we got the chance last time we were— you know—.” He slapped his hands over his cheeks and dragged them down to his jaw where his stubble would have been.  
The Hargreaves siblings assumed that Klaus’ quirky, energetic and occasionally disturbing demeanour would have complemented preadolescence quite nicely. They were not entirely wrong. His playful mess of mousy curls lit up with the light trickling through a window in the dark, dusty basement. The mischievous glint in his hazy blue eyes still made a regular appearance. However, they could not deny that this time he, among many other things post-"Vanyapocalypse", was a bit off. His once free spirited and intoxicated grins now looked as if they had been harshly tugged into shape by marionette strings. He barely slept anymore. Instead he wandered the halls, never knocking shelves over or dancing fervently to the music blasting from his walkman; the only sound to be heard was his ghostly faint footsteps. When Allison was persuading him into joining a 2:30am "kids only" meeting in the basement Klaus had stared lifelessly into the wall behind her, face drained of any animation like a corpse. Deeply unsettled she asked him what was wrong but when he came to he simply said that he was tired. She wrote it off as withdrawal. None of them said anything though, after all, Klaus had always been strange.  
Five rolled his eyes.  
His headache was back.  
“I think that we have more pressing matters at hand, the end of the world, for example.”  
Allison leaned back in her chair, tapping a pencil against her chin. The bleached blonde had washed away from her kinky hair leaving behind the natural dark chocolate brown. Small wrinkles that she had fretted over by way of a religious skincare routine had vanished. Her signature lipstick, bold brows, and smokey eyeshadow were a thing of the past— or, rather, the future. Over the past three nights she spent hours staring into her reflection and running her fingers over the old and new. Then she would trace over her throat and decide that it was time to go to bed.  
At night she would dream of Claire. One second she saw her daughter in her favourite blue dress giggling at a fistful of balloons in hands, the next she was gone and the balloons had drifted far off into the sky. When Allison woke up the next morning, she would remember that she was in a world without Claire.  
“I think that Klaus might be onto something...”  
“I am?”  
She pushed her hands onto the table and locked eyes with Five. He raised an eyebrow. “Dad's notes say that Vanya's powers are linked to her emotions, right? What if giving Vanya a normal childhood gives her more emotional stability which in turn gives her more control over her powers?”  
“Thus decreasing the probability of Vanya losing control of the in the first place.”  
Allison nodded.  
Five leaned against the chair beside him. Behind his eyelids he could still feel the dizzying drop through time tug at his organs. He could still feel Diego's clammy hand crushing his own in a vice grip, the shriek of sirens and overwhelming smell of ash slipping behind them as they fell. His consciousness seemed to evaporate into the chaos until the crushing impact brought it all back. Relief had washed over him in that moment when he could smell freshly cut grass and squint into the afternoon sun of a time that was not his own. Then it went black. Luther would later tell him that he had been asleep for three days. Diego would add that they had a hard time making sure their father never found out; thankfully he left for a business trip two days after their arrival and would not be back until the following week. Quite frankly, he wished that he had never woken up. The apocalypse was brooding in her room, Ben was suddenly back from the dead, Luther and Diego were irritating as ever, and Five had a throbbing pain driving a nail through his skull. Everything was a mess. It took the power of caffeine, a scalding hot shower, and the will of god for him to arrange a pathetic pre-apocalyptic meeting in the Hargreeves' basement.  
“Not a bad idea.” From what Five's foggy mind could gather, there were several calculations that would likely support Allison's theory.  
Luther frowned and ran a hand through his new and foreign crew cut. Out of all the siblings, his personality had changed the least since they were children. “That doesn’t mean that she can’t shatter the world at any given moment.”  
“And if we can’t find a way to get rid of her powers?” She said, directly at Luther this time. “It might not save us but it’s better than sitting here all day fermenting in existential fear.”  
The tension lingered in the air like the musty damp smell overwhelming the room. It went silent enough for the rhythmic ticking of the kitchenette clock to be heard. Allison and Luther continued to glare into each other, pushing onwards until one of them gave in. Five nearly prayed for the apocalypse to start a little sooner.  
He took a long sip of coffee and sighed. "So, we turn off Mom, go on the day trip of our twelve-year-old dreams, and Reginald will be none the wiser by the time we get back."  
“Let’s go then!” Klaus cried impatiently, throwing himself from an office chair. “Ben! Diego! Vanya! We’re going to Disneyland!”  
“No!” Five and Allison yelled back.


	2. Don't Let It Go Unsaid

Three arguments, one broken vase, and a margarita later, the Hargreeves children did not decide to go to Disneyland. The consensus was a classic little American carnival several kilometres outside the city limits. Since Five’s powers were making a painfully slow recovery, it took a bus, a train, and a stolen vehicle to get them there. One might have even been able to call it teamwork.  
Diego glared holes into the rusted burgundy and caramel light bulb lined sign adorning the entrance. The late summer sun struck the corner of it giving it a hot white glare. Despite the scorching heatwave, he had elected to wear an all black track training suit with the white stripes down the sides. He sent dust into the air when he turned and with a finger pointed accusingly at the sign. The outraged furrow of his brows would have been intimidating but his round brown eyes, smooth baby face, and schoolboy haircut betrayed him.  
“This.” He said. “This is what I cleared my training schedule for?”  
The twelve year olds muttered amongst themselves for a moment. Frankly, the seven of them had long since accepted the divisions that their dysfunctional family had given them. Luther had his place as the golden boy, always in pursuit of his father’s validation. Diego was forever prickly and poured all his frustrations into training, spending hours practicing his accuracy, strength, and battle strategies. Allison preoccupied herself with getting into back-to-school commercials, arranging photoshoots for children clothing stores, and making business connections. Klaus would go on week long benders while high out of his mind, only ever coming back when he was out of money. Five shut himself in his room to study thousands of pages of calculations, theories, and experiments; he was a rare sight. Ben tried to establish a sense of normality in his life by engrossing himself in literature to push away the reality of superpowers. Vanya practiced her violin until her fingers became calloused enough that they grew numb. Each person had their own room in a carefully crafted dollhouse. Alone. And they were just fine, thank you very much.  
“I still think that Disneyland would have been better.” Klaus sulked, crossing his arms over his tacky red Hawaiian shirt. Allison wondered how he was not broiling in those skin tight ripped skinny jeans but was just grateful that he had enough fashion sense to avoid “jorts”.  
Ben fished a baseball cap from his backpack and shrugged. His stomach was still dislodging itself from his throat after experiencing Five's aggressive driving. “Well, we might as well make the most of it.”  
Five gave him a halfhearted smirk appreciating Ben’s presence. They were all glad that he was back from the dead. Confused, but glad. Every time one of them raised the subject Ben seemed to shrink into himself hoping that The Horrors would swallow him whole again. It was an unspoken rule between the Hargreeves that they would not pressure him until he was ready. They did not want a repeat of last time.  
The six of them crossed the threshold except for one. Vanya stood before the brass gates squinting into the aching, bright, blue sky. Since their tumble through time she had quarantined herself inside her room. Luther had confiscated her violin in fear of what happened last time she had been holding one. Allison had tapped on her door asking if they could talk but Vanya never answered. How could she? She killed a man (regardless of his own criminal past). She slit her only sister’s throat. She sent a chunk of the moon plummeting into the earth. How was she supposed to explain that? Was she supposed to say that she felt useless on the sidelines and when she was stuck in third chair? That she felt furious when Allison coddled her and when Leonard played her like a fool? The feelings just grew stronger and stronger like a vibration reaching resonance. But no matter how many times her mind raced through the events that led up to it, she could never justify herself. Vanya could not wash that kind of red from her hands. It was permanent.  
She tried to step forward but her legs felt like lead. Her mind was buzzing with dozens of thoughts that made her nauseous. When they began to bite at her ears she screwed her eyes shut and swallowed back the lump building in her throat.  
What was I thinking? I don’t deserve to be here, she thought. Not after what I did.  
Suddenly she felt a hand pull at her stormy grey t-shirt. Vanya’s head snapped up. Allison smiled back at her, coffee brown eyes crinkled. She playfully tugged her forwards.  
“C’mon, you look like a scarecrow!” She laughed.  
Vanya blinked. Allison should have left her there. Hell, she should have locked her up in a maximum security prison. She should have sent her to the moon! But here she was, giggling as she dragged her through the crowd with her plaid skirt bobbing around her knees. This is wrong, Vanya thought to herself.  
“Allison, please—“  
Allison spun on her glossy heels. “Stop! I don’t want to hear it!” She took Vanya’s hand and squeezed. “Do you want to know what I wanted to say to you? That night that Luther locked you in that stupid cage?” Vanya opened her mouth unsure of what would spill out but Allison interrupted her. “At first I was mad with you— not only that but I was terrified of you. Hell, it took me a while for me to even want to talk to you." Vanya's eyes dropped to a wilting patch of grass on the ground, she knew what was coming next. She braced for impact.  
"--but, Vanya, you are my sister. I forgive you.”  
What?  
“I nearly killed you!” Vanya cried feeling hot tears welling up in her eyes. “You should hate me!”  
“Oh please,” Allison snorted. “When Diego and Ben were just discovering their powers, how many times do you think they nearly killed me?”  
Vanya paused. She was always excluded from training sessions. Only rarely did she ever catch small glimpses.  
“Eight, Vanya, eight times, and I forgave them.” She said. “I’m not gonna lie, when Diego cut through my favourite bra during sparing I did hate him for a week but I still forgave him for goodness sake.”  
The two of them tried to read each other for a long time, searching for some kind of secret motive. Then they started giggling. After some nonsensical exchanges they were hugging.  
“Our family really is a nightmare.” Vanya said, grinning into her blouse. Their conversation in no way cleared Vanya's name but for a brief moment she felt relief. She could feel the guilt weighing down on her shoulders begin to slide off a little. It was a step forwards. Progress.  
Allison peeled themselves apart before tucking in her chin to look under her sister's dark blocky bangs.  
"Now let's pretend to be stupid kids for a day."  
Fifteen minutes later, a concerned mother named Beatrice would hustle her three troublesome sons and her accountant husband, Henry, to the carnival gate. In the midst of arranging her purse her husband would pluck a piece of glass from the barren ground. The married couple would examine it curiously before their youngest son discovered that the ground beneath the gate was blanketed with shattered glass. Beatrice immediately demanded to speak to the manager.


	3. The Fork In The Road

Diego and Luther’s rivalry seemed to pick itself up exactly where it had left off when they were adults. Or maybe none of them could remember a time where there was not some trivial conflict between them. Allison agreed with the second theory, shaking her head with an exasperated cough of a laugh.   
There was a slight bitterness to her dismissal of their behaviour. She loved Luther’s loyalty and strength and his childish affection trotting two paces behind. Sure, he had his flaws. He was always trying to fill their father’s shadow and always trying to relive a past where they were together, where they were a team, not a family. Then again, Allison was not sure that they could ever be considered a family. On the other hand, she also admired Diego’s sobering honesty and empathy. At first glance he could seem bitter and uninviting but beyond that wall that he had built up he was still the little boy with the stammer who would sit next to you when the nights became scary and sleepless. Allison cared about them. She hated to see them fight.   
“Monkey Hands,” Diego called. “Five bucks says that you can’t get five bullseyes in a row.”  
Luther dug a fistful of tickets from the pocket of his jeans with a cocky grin. “Prepare to owe me five dollars.”   
He slapped six tickets into the meaty hand a balding middle aged man with a name tag with the name “Greg” scribbled hastily on it. Greg yelped and muttered irritable about ‘kids these days’ and ‘steroids'. He threw the register shut before handing Luther a wimpy plastic sling shot. He glanced back towards Allison, feeling her gaze pressing against his back. Luther focused on the target, release the tension from his posture, exhaled, and fired. Bullseye. He reloaded and fired again, and again, and again, then there was a sharp snap. A satisfied smirk began to crawl over Diego’s face.   
He slapped a hand on Luther’s shoulder and held out the other in anticipation of his reward. Luther muttered something about the game being inherently unfair before handing over the dollar bill with a warning glare. Diego seemed satisfied with this and wandered off.  
“Here, son,” Greg grumbled in a gravelly Scottish accent. “You’re trying to impress that girly over there, ain’t yah?” He tossed Luther a miniature stuffed polar bear holding a cotton filled candy heart. “Just don’t squeeze her too hard.” He gave it a puzzled expression. “I mean your girlfriend, you fool.”  
“Uh, thanks,” Luther said. He mentally questioned whether he could even be considered Allison’s “boyfriend” if he had ever been that to her in the first place.  
Greg waved him off with one hand. “Now shoo, I’ve got more customers to tend to.”  
He turned to Allison. She was caught up signing autographs for some bubbly fans. It was a perfect scene for her with her fashionable red beret, professional ivory blouse, and sensible black cardigan. She already looked like a movie star. Luther had never doubted that she was destined for fame. He was just sad that she had risen to a league galaxies from his own, leaving him behind. His pensive frown melted into a light hearted smile as he meandered over.   
“I think that this suits you better than it suits me.” Luther said, offering the prize with one hand. “He has your eyes.”  
Allison looked up at Luther as her fans parted with rushed expressions of gratitude. Then her eyes fell to the teddy bear. An emotion that Luther couldn’t read flashed across her face before is was plastered over with a polite smile.   
“I don’t know, you two could be cousins,” she said. “But... I guess that I could keep an eye on him if you’d like.”   
Luther nodded and handed her the bear. He then turned to Diego and challenged him to another carnival game. The rest of them seemed to follow their bickering like a compass through the crowd. At least some of them were entertained.   
“It’s like watching giraffes fight.” Five scowled clutching a stick covered in pink, sugary, fluff. A kindly old woman had recognized him from the newspaper. She disapproving shook her head when he had tried to bribe her for a beer. She told him that he was far too young and that it would stunt his growth. Instead she gave him a cloud of cotton candy, free of charge. It would have been a nice gesture if his time in the post-apocalyptic future did not make his intestines knot whenever sweets were mentioned.  
Allison watched the two boys in an expressionless daze.   
“Tell me about it.”  
Vanya silently followed behind, glancing back every once in a while in an effort to make sure that they did not lose Ben and Klaus who were slowly drifting behind them. During Luther and Diego’s competition at the sling shot booth, Klaus had gotten distracted by a collection of silvery helium balloons several stalls away. She overheard their distant bickering only catching the words “David Bowie”, “space”, and “have to buy”. The next time Vanya glanced back, Klaus was dragging Ben through the crowd with a balloon tied to his wrist.  
Ben stopped dead in his tracks once they reached her. Klaus sprinted ahead obliviously only to be snapped backwards and crumble to the floor. Still determined he got his lanky legs underneath him before trying again, the results were similar. Ben wondered how much brain damage his brother had sustained over the years for a moment before deciding that he did not want to know.   
“Klaus and I are going to the Haunted House.” Ben announced. He turned to Vanya; she was picking at the stray threads on her shirt. “Do you want to come?”  
Vanya looked up at him like he had poured water down her neck. “Uh, yeah.” She said hesitantly. A small smile painted her lips. No one had asked her and only her to join them for a long time. “I’d like that.”  
“Just meet us at the Ferris wheel at eleven!” Allison hollered as they scampered off into the flat dusty labyrinth.   
“Okay, Mom!” Klaus snorted before Ben shouldered past him nearly causing both of them to tumble into a popcorn stand. Vanya breathlessly stumbled after them, childish laughter trailing behind her. Eventually they managed to scramble in a giddy little unit around a corner and they were gone. Allison started to wonder whether or not it was wise to let them go alone.

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first fanfic that I've ever posted. This is mostly for fun but I would appreciate any constructive criticism so I can improve my writing!


End file.
